Frequently Asked Questions
What is your rate?
My hourly fee is $200.
Do you work on sliding scale or reduce your fees?
I no longer work on sliding scale for any clients, but I do mentor other surrogate partner interns who work at lower fees than I do, and am happy to refer them appropriate cases.
How long is your waitlist?
My waitlist is 5 months on average
How can I get on the waitlist?
To get on my waitlist, you must first be referred to me by your therapist. If the therapist and I agree that it is possibly a case and client that would benefit clinically from surrogate partner therapy, then all of us (the therapist, client, and surrogate partner) would have a virtual meeting where I can give you more information about the process and how I work. If we all feel comfortable going forward after that meeting, THEN I can put you on my waitlist.
What are the Covid requirements?
I am only seeing clients who are fully vaccinated and boosted for Covid-19. I will ask for a digital or physical vaccine card as proof, and am happy to provide proof of my own vaccination status.
Who do you work with?
I work with clients under 45 years of age of all genders, bodies, backgrounds, and sexual orientations. Some people with specific diagnoses may not benefit from surrogate partner therapy, however, so it is important for me to evaluate the suitability of each case by talking to the therapist.
Do I have to get a referral from a therapist to work with a surrogate partner?
Yes. Surrogates only see clients who have been referred by a therapist. Not all therapists refer to surrogate partners. If you are interested in seeing a surrogate in the Los Angeles area, I can refer you to a therapist near me. If you are not in the Los Angeles area, you can contact the International Professional Surrogate's Association referrals coordinator (referrals@surrogatetherapy.org) for more information about their therapist members.
How do I know if my issue is something that a surrogate partner can help with?
It is the job of your therapist and prospective surrogate partner to evaluate your case, but the most common concerns addressed in surrogate partner therapy are:
social anxiety
touch phobia
rapid ejaculation
romantic and sexual inexperience
erection difficulties
vaginismus
pain during intercourse
low desire
compulsive sexual behavior
pre-orgasmia
delayed or inhibited ejaculation
sexual orientation confusion
Some sexual concerns may be entirely physiological in nature, and therefore outside of the ability of a therapist and surrogate to treat alone. If you are having physical pain and discomfort, it is important that you rule out a number of medical conditions. For example, some erection difficulties may stem from underlying heart problems, excessive use of drugs or alcohol, unhealthy blood pressure, normal aging, or other vascular damage. You may therefore benefit from seeing a medical professional to rule out physiological causes for your concerns.
Many surrogate partners do see disabled clients, but the primary goal of the surrogate is to help the client learn to adapt to dating and sex with a disability, not the treatment of physical pain.
If we work together, will you share information about me with other people?
Surrogate partners share some information about the client (with explicit consent from the client) with the client's therapist. The therapist, in turn, then shares relevant information with the surrogate partner. The team between client, therapist, and surrogate is a "triadic relationship". It is a fundamental part of the surrogate partner therapy experience, and surrogate partner therapy cannot be conducted without this communication. A surrogate partner will never share any personally identifying information about the client with anyone outside of the triadic relationship.
How long can I expect to work with a surrogate partner?
The average amount of time I work with clients is about 36 hours, in appointments that are once a week and last anywhere from 1-2 hours. Despite this average, there is a lot of variation in how long each individual case takes, and we do not do closure until the clients clinical goals are achieved or they learn that there is another modality that will work better for them.
That means that surrogate partner therapy is a relatively long-term commitment. If a client cannot commit to relatively regular appointments, then they will not progress as quickly or effectively through the exercises. I occasionally work in an intensive format for 3 hours a day, every day for 10-14 days, but that process is not suitable for most clients.